


It's a Dangerous Game

by JustADeadGirlWriting



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, F/M, Forgiveness, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Reconciliation, Smut, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29034855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustADeadGirlWriting/pseuds/JustADeadGirlWriting
Summary: If Day 9 of Saeran’s route ended a little differently. He can't love you the way that Ray does, he's not soft. But he can try. - A song fic inspired by the song ‘It’s a Dangerous Game’ from Jekyll and Hyde: A Gothic Musical, I really suggest listening to the song whilst reading this fic!
Relationships: Choi Saeran/Main Character, Choi Saeran/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	It's a Dangerous Game

You were sat in your room, occasionally getting up to hear if you could make out any conversations on the other side of the door. It was rather muffled, but you heard Saeran’s name muttered a few times, your stomach starting to churn at the mention of him. You were so conflicted. You had loved Ray, that much was evident. You were still so drawn to Saeran, he was a horror at the start and had treated you with such irredeemable cruelty, but he was changing. His turmoil was so plain to see that even the believers couldn’t stop themselves from gossiping about it. You couldn’t bring yourself to hate Saeran, he was hurting you out of his own pain. He didn’t know what to do with his anguish, so he lashed it out on other people. He needed help, but you could only get him out if the two of you could first get to safety. You could tell he wasn’t ready for such an idea. You knew you needed to run far, far away from Magenta: but you wanted Saeran to come with you. Your cold fingertips grazed over the lovebite he had given you, and you felt an urge to see him. You knew it was wrong to feel like this, but you couldn’t help it. Saeran ignited something in you the same way that Ray had done. It felt different, but you couldn’t deny to yourself that it was there.

Rika’s words had worried you, it was plain to see she blamed you for Saeran going missing and it was just as clear that she was vengeful because of it. But, to you, the fact that this had happened was evidence enough that he was changing, confused and scared. You checked your phone again, but there were no new messages from him. Instead, you read through the messages from Rika once again, lost in her accusations.

‘_____?’ A nameless voice from the back of your room asked. You knew that voice all too well.

‘Saeran?’ You whispered back, trying to keep your voice down to ensure that the believers guarding the outside of your room wouldn’t be alerted.

‘You recognized me right away. You weren’t waiting for me, were you?’ He moved closer, but still maintained a tentative distance. You sat up in bed and started to move when he stopped you, ‘No need to get out of bed. Relax. I’m not here to torture you…’ He continued. You had never seen him look so… melancholic. Not even Ray had appeared so beaten down and vulnerable in front of you, even when the two of you had encountered V in the garden.

Saeran held your gaze, ‘I will no longer torment you.’

‘How come?’ you found your voice from the back of your throat and questioned him, but he explained that it was something he could not summarise in one word. His mint eyes glanced towards the edge of your bed and you beckoned for him to sit down, sensing that he needed to speak.

‘____, you never gave up on me no matter how much I tormented you. You didn’t let my torture and your wounds crush you. I cursed you dozens of times that your eyes are disgusting because you looked like you know a world completely different from mine. And when I kept looking into your face, it felt like I was losing. I wanted to get closer to you, but I also wanted to avoid you. I wanted to know you better, but at the same time, I wanted to neglect you. Even after I tormented you… it didn’t feel like I beat you. That’s why I felt empty. I felt so empty. So, in the end, I got angrier, and I wanted to torment you even more. You’re gentle, but you never fall down. You rebel, but you don’t return your pain to me.’ His gaze dropped for a moment, ‘You avoided me, but you never gave up on me completely… Even now, you haven’t given up on me.’ Your eyes dropped to the hand that he had rested on top of your bedsheets and you tentatively moved your own towards it, gently placing it on top. He startled for a second, not expecting such intimacy. He was so unused to it, it had always been so denied to him.

‘My darkness is melting away, but you still remain the way you are… How can you stay the same?’

‘I thought you were hurting others because you had been so terribly wounded in the past. I stayed the same because you’re you, regardless of whether you’re Saeran or Ray. I care about you both.’

‘You understood me. I should… thank you for understanding me, shouldn’t I?’ He turned his hand slightly to wrap his fingers around yours, ‘Thank you… for understanding me. All those things I said about you, how you were weak and useless, they’re not true at all. I was the weak one. I said all those cruel things to you because I didn’t want people to know I was so weak. I didn’t want to get hurt.’

‘But you hurt yourself by saying such cruel things, you hurt yourself and Ray.’ ‘No matter how hard you tried to guide me to the right path, your words couldn’t reach me. Even now, it’s so difficult to accept myself the way I am. I’m ruined beyond hope. It’s impossible for me to throw away my hatred against the world and start all over again in this little hell, but maybe it’s possible for Ray. Right now, he’s speaking inside me… that maybe, just maybe, if what V said is true, he might be able to see his brother again. And that, if he begs for your forgiveness, and if by any chance you’re able to forgive him, then he’ll make you as happy as best he can, with everything he has. I can hear him now, he’s praying in the corner of my heart that everything will work out well and that he’ll be happy one day. I know nothing but anger. I get angry because I’m scared my hope will turn to despair again-‘

‘I won’t let it, not your hope nor Ray’s. I’ll protect it.’ You cut him off. In the darkness, you heard him swallow and it sounded like he started to choke on his own words a little.

‘We already are one. It’s just that my voice is stronger right now. Both Ray and I are… in this body. The monster that had to torture you to hide how pathetic he’s become is me, and the persistent idiot that doesn’t lose hope no matter how much he’s tormented is also me. If I become good enough to keep you unharmed… we’ll naturally become completely one.’ Saeran turned to you, a tear falling from his eye and landing on the hand which sat between the two of you, ‘I must leave.’

‘Saeran, don’t go.’ You clutched at his hand tighter as he tried to flee. The frailness of his hand worried you, knowing that he never ate enough food. You knew all too well that he had strength in those hands, but also tenderness. Softness.

‘I didn’t want to tell you… that I’m sorry. It feels too late, but I should do it anyway. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you.’ He said, stern but sad.

‘I know you did, but it’s different. You’re different. I know you’re sorry. You’re not the same person who did this. You were so…heavily drugged. You aren’t going to do this again, we both know you aren’t.’

‘But I’m the same person who did that.’ Saeran glanced at your neck, at the lovebite. He used his free hand to touch his hand against the bruise. His pale hand stopped just slightly short of actually reaching your throat. He muttered an apology and began to retract his hand, but you caught it and pulled it to your neck so his fingertips couldn’t deny that the lovebite took place. However, there was still such a slight fear of his touch, given everything that had happened, that you gasped at the feeling of his hand on your neck. The chill of fear wasn’t the only reason for the gasp, but he didn’t realise that and attempted to pull his hand away. You held the cold hand against the warmth of your skin.

‘No, no! It’s okay. You’re okay.’ You assured him. He froze for a few seconds, as though questioning whether it was really okay for him, of all people, to do this. It seemed to work as Saeran began to move his fingers up and down the soft skin of your neck, his eyes falling over your bare shoulders and arms.

‘Ray… said that he wanted to be bolder to you, but he’s too scared. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing right now, but I have the capability of being bolder for him. Do you mind… if I try?’ Saeran didn’t move, but held the intense eye contact once again. You could have gotten lost in those eyes of his, but the racing of your heart and the burning in your gut kept you grounded. You wanted him to bolder, to touch you again, in the way that he’s supposed to.

_I feel your fingers -_

_Cold on my shoulder -_

_Your chilling touch,_

_Watching your eyes_

_As they invade my soul -_

‘Of course…’ You breathed out, meeting his gaze with a light dusting of red flushing your cheeks.

‘I can’t be tender in the way that Ray can…’ He trailed off. 

‘That’s okay, you don’t need to be Ray for me. You can be Saeran.’ You replied and he seemed convinced by this and you felt as his fingers curled at the back of the neck slightly, bringing you closer to him. He pressed his chapped lips against yours for a moment and you were worried he was going to hear your heart beating so loudly at the contact. Saeran pulled away momentarily to gauge your reaction was a positive one, and then pushed his lips against yours once again with increased intensity. He was rough, that couldn’t be denied. But he wasn’t doing it to hurt you, Saeran just wasn’t as tamed as Ray. Your breath hitched in your throat as he crawled across the bed to be kneeling above you, refusing to break the kiss as he did so. Your arms slide around the back of his neck, working your fingers into his hair as one hand grabbed onto your thigh.

_Forbidden pleasures_

_I’m afraid to make mine._

He opened your mouth with his own and pushed his tongue inside, causing you to moan. It felt so dangerous, with the believers outside. You knew someone could open the door at any moment and Saeran knew it too. It still felt risky doing such a thing with Saeran after he had been so cruel to you, but you didn’t want to stop. It was so good and you could tell by the way he looked at you, by the way he touched you, that he wasn’t the same person that introduced himself a few days ago.

_At the touch of your hand -_

_At the sound of your voice -_

_At the moment your eyes meet mine -_

_I am out of my mind -_

_I am out of control -_

_Full of feelings I can’t define!_

He broke off the kiss first, needing a second to catch his breath. He seemed to be wary of the door opening too and moved off the bed to listen for any voices on the other side of the door. He paused there for a moment, waiting. You missed the connection and the sensation of his body so close, the touch of his lips against yours. An idea popped into your head. You slipped out of bed to grab a chair and handed it to him to slide underneath the door handles so they couldn’t be opened.

You also stood with your ear to the door and closed your eyes to concentrate on any slight noise. You couldn’t hear anything except for the thud of your heart and the quiet shift of Saeran’s clothes, which was a relief. Once you were satisfied that no one was outside, you sighed and were about to turn around to look for Saeran. However, before you had the chance to do that, his arms had already snaked their way around your waist and had pulled you close to him with his torso pressing against your back. He muttered your name as he sighed against your ear, placing small kisses along the side of your neck. It took everything you had to not moan in that moment, since you were both so close to the door, and instead you let out a few shaky breaths as he kissed your neck and shoulder with more fervour.

_It’s a sin with no name -_

_Like a hand in a flame -_

_And our senses proclaim_

_It’s a dangerous game!_

You weren’t sure how far the two of you were going to go, but the heat pooling in your stomach indicated that you didn’t want to stop anytime soon. Evidently, neither did he. Saeran pulled you by the waist and moved you up against the wall so you were facing him once again. His eyes seemed darker, half lidded and needy. Within an instant, his mouth was on yours once again, kissing and pulling at your lips. He let out a very quiet groan as your hands worked their way up his body and onto his shoulders before moving them to grab onto his hair. His started kissing along your jawline and onto your neck again, pausing next to the lovebite he had previously given you and you knew it was bothering him.

‘It’s okay. You can keep going.’ You whispered back and the man attached his lips once more to your throat, leaving small purple bruises as he did. Your own hand reached up to smother the moans coming out of your mouth as you got more and more turned on. He kissed every bruise he left, including the original one to change the meaning of it. It was no longer a thing of anguish, he wanted it to be one of affection.

_A strange romance -_

_Out of a mystery tale -_

_The frightened princess_

_Doesn’t know what to do!_

‘Don’t cover your mouth, I want to hear you.’ Saeran whispered into your neck, giving you goosebumps at the sensation. As though to emphasise his point, he lifted your arms above your head, holding both of your wrists together as he went back into kissing you. ‘Ray wanted to do this to you too…’ He continued, sliding one of his legs between yours as you melted against him.

‘He can. I wouldn’t stop him.’ You practically moaned into his mouth and Saeran broke the kiss suddenly, conflict shadowing his face. You were confused, and a little scared for him for a moment. You were so worried that you had done or said something wrong and almost began to apologise. That was until you felt the source of his conflict pressing hard against your thigh. Saeran lent his head down so his forehead was pressing against your shoulder and sighed. He loosened the grip he had on your wrists in defeat.

‘I should go. This is too much for you.’ He muttered, cursing his body for such a reaction. It wasn’t as though it was entirely unprecedented given how the situation had escalated, but he didn’t want to push too much too soon. He knew he had to be considerate of you _and_ considerate of his previous actions.

‘I don’t want you to go-’ You pleaded, using one hand to cup his cheek and pull him into another kiss, ‘stay with me.’

He nodded, even if he seemed worried about imposing on you in such a way. He had you so painfully turned on and you were glad you had him feeling the same way.It wasn’t too much for you. In that moment, it was exactly what you wanted.

_All I know is I’m lost -_

_And I’m counting the cost -_

_My emotions are in a spin!_

_And though no one’s to blame…_

_It’s a crime and a shame!_

When he was on top of you, you could feel his growing erection pressed against his suit trousers. There was a sense of urgency, desperation, about this intimacy and Saeran pushed your dress up over your hips, exposing your dark underwear in the moonlight. You were inexperienced, and oh so willing to let him take the lead with this, but still a little embarrassed and squeaked at the sudden cool air to your thighs. You went to close them but Saeran held them open, moving himself to lodge his torso between them, a smirk you had never seen appearing on his face.

_but it’s true all the same_

_It’s a dangerous game!_

You watched as his eyes darkened again at your consent and he guided you towards the bed, not being able to keep his hands off of you for even a single moment. They grabbed at your hips, your waist, your thighs. Your legs hit the back of the bed and you fell backwards onto the plush sheets with Saeran falling on top of you. He had taken to biting at your lips as one of his hands slipped underneath the hem of your black dress, squeezing at your upper thigh and making you shiver. You couldn’t help but moan each time he touched you somewhere new, and you nearly whined when his body left yours to take off his black blazer and tie. There was something about the way that he yanked his tie down to loosen it which made your legs shake slightly in anticipation. He didn’t take the time to fold them, instead leaving them discarded on the floor. They weren’t what was important right now.

‘Do you want to undo your dress? If I have to do it, I’d rather just rip it.’ He said, cocking an eyebrow. You complied and undid the zip down the side of the dress and pulled it off from above your head, wanting to spare the fabric. You hadn’t even thrown the dress on the floor before Saeran was grabbing for your chest with one hand and trying to undo his shirt with the other. His plan wasn’t exactly working, so you reached out your hands to unbutton his shirt for him. You felt so… naked under his intense gaze as he didn’t take his eyes off you as you undressed his pulling his shirt from his arms. His cold eyes followed your fingertips as they trace along the outline of his body, the weak body he hated so much, touching along the many scars he had. You couldn’t help but look in horror at the new ones from the ‘cleansing’ he was put through in order to destroy Ray. There were so many, they were so deep. Some of them had been bandaged haphazardly and disinfected, probably by Ray whilst others were barely starting to scab over. He must have seen your expression drop because he put his hand under your chin to make you meet his gaze.

‘You don’t need to worry about those. I’m okay now.’ He pulled you in to another kiss as he reached around to undo your bra, you were thankful that he decided to not rip it, and the lovebites began moving down your chest as he grabbed at your breasts. You gasped against him, unable to contain how good his hands were already making you feel. You didn’t need to find words to convey it, your body was already acting on its own. Wanting him, needing him.

‘I’ll ask one more time, are you sure about this? I don’t think I can love you in the same way that Ray can. I won’t hurt you on purpose, but I can’t promise I can do wha-’ Saeran started.

‘I’m sure. You’ve already said that both you and Ray are one. You don’t need to love me in the same that Ray would, because you’re Saeran. I trust… Saeran too.’ You touched the side of his face and he planted rough kisses down your body, placing one into the hem of your underwear before he pulled them down and off your legs.

He positioned himself between your thighs, his rough hands grabbing and kissing at them, adding the occasional bite. You couldn’t deny that you loved the teasing, but you needed something more, you craved to be touched properly. His mouth found itself on your hipbone, sucking hard to form another purple bruise before trailing his tongue across to between your thighs, finally giving you the sensation you desired.

‘Sa-Saeran…’ Your breath choked in your throat as his tongue brushed against every intimate part of you. He hasn’t tentative, but bold and rough. He licked and sucked until he found out what made you moan the most, savouring the fact that he could make your thighs shake to such an extent that he had to hold them in a hard grip to keep them steady. His soft tongue was rough, but never forceful. It was eager, determined to please for both parties. You were embarrassed to look, but when you glanced your eyes down at him his powerful gaze was holding your own, deciphering every reaction you made. The intensity in his cool eyes caused the knot that had been slowly forming in your stomach to begin tightening more and more, to the point where his hands were the only thing keeping you from subconsciously squeezing your thighs around his head. You threw your hands into his bleached hair, unable to help yourself from needing something to hold onto.

‘Does the Princess like that?’ He asked, biting onto your thigh and catching his breath. All you could manage in response was a moan and a few whimpers, silently begging him.

_No one speaks -_

_Not one word -_

_But the words are in our eyes_

Saeran was also getting painfully hard from watching the reaction he had on you, how good he could make you feel with his mouth. He had never liked his body, but he, at a base level, at least appreciated that he was capable of bringing you such pleasure, even if it had to come at the price of first causing you such pain. He felt the tip of his erection leaking pre-cum uncomfortably into his tight boxers and deprived you of his tongue in order to free himself from the now restrictive trousers.

‘You’ll like this more.’ He knelt up on the bed, looming over you. The room was so dark, the moonlight providing the only illumination against his icy eyes and smirk. He wiped the wetness from his jaw and used the same hand to circle the head of his dick, spreading the pre-cum along his shaft. You clenched your thighs at the sight in absolute yearning. ‘Tell me that you want it, Princess.’ He edged closer to you, moving all the way up so that he was practically in your face. He hovered above you on his hands and legs, and you felt his erection touch the side of your leg. You were so desperate to be close to him once again, you swallowed.

‘I want…it.’ You whispered and you blushed and averted your gaze from his in embarrassment.

_At the touch of your hand -_

‘Say it again.’ Once again, he moved your head so you couldn’t look away from him.

_At the sound of your voice -_

‘I want it… Saeran.’ Your voice trailed off as you felt him reach down to adjust himself, lining up his tip with your entrance.

_At the moment your eyes meet mine -_

The both of you let out broken groans as he pushed himself into you.

‘Ah, you’re… fucking tight.’ You opened your eyes to see him with his eyes squeezed shut in a mixture of pleasure and concentration. For a moment, you were so lost in the feeling of being so utterly filled by him. He had already felt so good just going in that the idea of him finally moving inside you was nearly enough to make your eyes roll into the back of your head. He waited until you felt comfortable enough for him to move before setting a rough rhythm. This time, Saeran did have to muffle your mouth to smother your moans. Of course, he made sure not to hurt you in the process. It fuelled his confidence to know he was fucking you that good, but this was not the time to get caught by another believer. He kept his gaze on your face, watching as you closed your eyes and a new wave of pleasure washed over you with every hard thrust of his hips. Occasionally, he dipped his head to bite at your collarbones or groan out a curse in your ear.

_I am out of control -_

_Fighting feelings I can’t define!_

_I am out of my mind -_

_It’s a sin with no name -_

_No remorse and no shame -_

Saeran continued to thrust into you, hitting you and new and deeper angles each couple of minutes so the sensations always felt different. His pace was merciless and you didn’t have an opportunity to think between every new snap of his hips. That knot in your stomach was almost unbearably tight and threatened to snap at any moment. Part of you didn’t want it to, because you didn’t want the moment to end. Your arms grabbed along his back, unable to help but claw lightly at the damp skin. Even in your delirium, you made an effort to avoid any of his injuries. The last thing you wanted to cause Saeran was more pain. Eventually, he had to remove the hand from your mouth in order to support himself better. It was clear that he was also reaching his limit as he panted in the crook of your neck, his thrusts getting even rougher and more vigorous than they had been at the start.

_And the angels proclaim_

_It’s a dangerous game!_

Suddenly, and without enough time to warn Saeran, the knot snapped and you orgasmed within him still slamming into you.

‘God!’ you cried, and you truly could have thanked God for the man between your legs right now, ‘S-Saeran, a-ah!’ You choked out between each slam, your mind numb to absolutely everything other than the overwhelming pleasure he had brought you. He couldn’t handle the feelings of your walls clenching so aggressively around his cock and almost immediately climaxed at the same time, with barely enough of thought to pull out before he ejaculated. He managed to do it, finishing down the side of your inner thigh rather than inside you.

‘Fuck-!’ His arms were shaking and his eyes pressed tightly together. His panting and exhaustion were overt and you wanted nothing more than for him to collapse next to you, holding one another until you both passed out. When he opened his eyes again, they were so soft. The icy gaze seemed to have melted into pools of sweet oceans, holding infinite depths of tenderness and affection. No words were needed, you understood one another.

Saeran’s tiredness took over him and he collapsed on the bed next to you and you pressed small kisses against his temple, his cheek and eventually his lips. After a few moments, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. You couldn’t stop your heart racing, but it was okay, because you knew your hearts were racing in sync. By the time you had gotten ready for bed, Saeran had already gotten dressed and passed out on the side of the bed. You threw a blanket over him and got into the bed with your chest pressed up against his back, wrapping your arms around him in a silent promise to never let him go. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep and you were lulled into unconsciousness by the sound of his breathing and the quiet drum of his heartbeat. It was probably the best sleep you had had since you’d arrived at Magenta.

When the morning came, you found you were alone in the bed and feared that Saeran had changed his mind about you. Your hands desperately clawed at his side of the bed. He had left a letter tucked into the bedding for you, with your phone next to it and a spam of messages from the RFA. You’d been reconnected! Opening the letter, it read:

**‘Pack well, but lightly.**  
**Be ready, I’ll come and get you. Trust me. - Saeran.’**


End file.
